Missing Clause
by fascimility
Summary: Kakashi/Minato. Yondaime reads up on ethics, and Kakashi disagrees with what the books say. For the lovely munashii sonzai on lj.


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Summary: Yondaime reads up on ethics, and Kakashi disagrees with what the books say.

Notes: First post to the fabulous YonKaka lj comm. Much worrying about charactersation and the dreadful lack of plot. Comments and concrit muchly welcome.:)

_Missing Clause _

Kakashi comes into the office at lunchtime, all glorious skin and the lilting sway of delicate, fine-boned hips. There is sunlight pooled in his eyes over deep still grey, and if Yondaime quints he can faintly discern the flickers of youthful adolescence (is Kakashi really only seventeen, Minato wonders) that have to be coaxed out, through gentle touches and even gentler words.

There is a manual of ethics, morality, code of conduct and whatnot stowed away somewhere in the desk that Kakashi is currently reclining on- a thick, dusty volume that details what the Hokage may or may not do or attempt. It governs his thoughts, his actions and his aspirations in a way that chokes so carefully and weightily; he has accepted this title and as so, has inherited the burden of responsibility and duty. Without complaint, it may seem, for even the most light-hearted and playful can buckle down once they put their mind to it, and Yondaime is not one to shirk the land he has pledged to defend.

He would die for this village and its people in a way that is bound to be devoid of glory and full of messy, entangled limbs and unfinished words and business, although he knows that this death will be embellished and embalmed in honour as though that will soothe the hurt it has created. When he dies he hopes to become part of the earth from which he has sprung forth, in which there is hidden, laughter and joy, of him and those that he has loved.

No one has read the book of ethics, Minato thinks, and he certainly does not want to. He knows ethical and moral with a painful clarity that is not born of duty but of awareness, in which they are so integral to the idea of himself that he cannot unwind them from the fibres of his existence. He governs them and they govern him.

Kakashi sidles over and sprawls himself over the back of Minato's chair and Minato sullenly contemplates the book in his desk with anger and a compulsion to hurl it out of the window. Of course he would have to hurl the cloak out as well, but that does not alleviate the knowledge that his title is branded into his name and body.

Kakashi leans over and smiles slowly and dazzlingly. Minato reaches out to feel warm, supple skin that slides around his fingers and moulds themselves to his fingertips. He draws a hand over Kakashi in possession, gauging what he has shaped and created, this distractingly beautiful and intelligent creature that tempts and teases and gives. Kakashi is generous; giving with an intensity that hurts Minato sometimes, and makes him hopelessly powerless in the face of such selflessness. Kakashi will die for his village too, with the same self-possession and acceptance of the fact. Minato will regret this one day, he knows, but now is now, and oh, how weak he is when Kakashi convinces him otherwise.

Kakashi is all hard angles and planes, composed of jutting elbows and hips and raised collarbones. Minato reaches round and catches Kakashi's lip harshly in his mouth, grinding down. Kakashi crawls over and tumbles into Minato's lay, splayed over his legs and tugging at the collar of Minato's shirt to get him to move, and faster. "Sensei," Kakashi says, not without a certain breathlessness, "stop thinking."

Minato looks up from where he has been tugging off Kakashi's shirt. "I'm not thinking," he says untruthfully, because he he has felt guilt and remorse over Kakashi, but the feeling apparently is not mutual.

Kakashi pauses in his mapping out of Minato's neck to give Minato an exasperated and bored look. "Sensei, I know you're wondering again about whether this is immoral." The last word he says with a certain asperity. This is a conversation they have had many times, spoken out loud or heard with intuition, and Kakashi is frankly amazed at Minato's denseness. He wonders how on earth he will convince Minato. "Sensei," he says again, grabbing Minato's shirt and tugging him down.

Minato struggles against his mind and convinces himself that it is just need that is compelling him to commit such dastardly, inexcusable acts. Physical need, pure and simple, arising from when the abstract notions of beauty he has always associated with Kakashi morphed into something more tangible and pressing. But Kakashi's tongue in his mouth is tender and inexplicably slow, brushing against his sanity and touching his consciousness. There is nothing he can do against the slow wave of Kakashi running hands over his torso and dipping below his pants, where even the press of Kakashi's fingers on his hips brings a jolt to his heart that makes it ache in a quiet way. Kakashi seems almost petulant now, tasting the tip of Minato's erection speculatively, with no seeming intention of continuing further.

Minato is mad with impatience, but damn, he will do the right thing this time round. He pushes the chair away from the desk and away from Kakashi kneeling on the floor. "Kakashi," he begins, suddenly unsure of what to say now that he has to form the words. "I think this should stop."

"Oh?" Kakashi quirks an eyebrow inquisitively, as if he doesn't see why. Momentarily Minato's throat goes parched when the sun catches Kakashi's hair and illuminates the dark shadows that seem to cling to Kakashi at times, brings back to his face the light that Minato thinks has been missing for a long time now. Kakashi is young, too young to be in Anbu, and most definitely too young for Minato to be thinking in that way about him. Then he recovers himself. "Kakashi, don't play dumb," he manages to say, sounding perfectly annoyed even as he struggles to recover his breath.

Minato is reminded as to why Kakashi is so infuriating sometimes when Kakashi scoots forward and rests his head on Minato's lap. "I'm not, Sensei, I'm serious," he whines. "If this is about it being immoral or unethical or wrong or anything like that, Sensei,", Kakashi says, rubbing gently against Minato's leg, "I am going to throw that book out."

"What book?" Minato has to ask, because there is no way in hell that Kakashi knows he has been secretly perusing the relevant few pages to his current predicament.

"Sensei, you know which one," Kakashi smirks up. "The one you've been hiding in your desk and reading during office hours behind paperwork. Konoha's Book of Ethics for Shinobi."

The capitalisation seals Kakashi's fate. Oh, he is going to kill him, Minato thinks. And this, he expresses appropriately with the correct words.

"I've read the book, Sensei," Kakashi has the gall to reply, "there isn't anything in it against us."

Minato squashes the instinctive desire to ask when Kakashi has seen the book and why he has been checking for that particular topic. "Is that so?" he says instead, pretending that he isn't the least bit concerned by the fact that his former student has seen clean through him.

"Yes," Kakashi all but whines. "It's been legal for years, Sensei. It's fair game."

I know, Minato wants to say, but doesn't. Ethics and morality run too deep in him to be discarded, and everything in him is screaming at him that there is something immoral about wanting Kakashi, even as Kakashi is such obvious evidence of the universe's dislike for Minato. He doesn't need a book to confirm that, but there is always reassurance to be found in seeking for answers, or counsel. But Minato doesn't think he can go to anyone on this, so the book is as good as he has.

But instead of saying that out loud, Minato responds by dragging Kakashi up and sitting him his lap, back facing Minato. Minato shucks Kakashi's pants off and tosses them to the opposite corner of the room. "I'll show you what's fair game, Kakashi-kun," he says breathily, following his statement by opening the bottle of lubricant stashed in his desk one-handed. He takes a moment to contemplate the dreadful irony of his keeping lubricant in the same (apparently) secret drawer as the book of ethics. The fact that he put it there in the first place... Minato tries to repress the urge to smack a hand to his head and impale himself on the lampshade. What had he been thinking, really?

Kakashi arches when Minato strokes down his length and slips a finger into his entrance, throwing his head back and resting it on Minato's shoulder. Minato takes the opportunity to bite down on Kakashi's neck where the pulse is racing madly and crazily; God, Minato thinks, and his heart crumbles beneath the weight Kakashi being on him and Kakashi's tenderness. Kakashi's scent is of grassland and clear, spring days- of open air and freedom, of youth and the limitless future that he will make for himself. Kakashi is raw and open, boundless as the sea and infinite, more than Minato will ever be.

Minato struggles against his restraints but duty presses too heavily and clips him where perhaps he could soar. He wants to find himself back from the impersonal leader that he has become, to salvage himself from paperwork and responsibility. He finds something of himself in Kakashi, so he dives deep deep down and reaches into Kakashi's embracing arms, where there is a place for him to live, and be.

Kakashi does not judge, does not heap upon him expectation or demand. Kakashi is Kakashi, and Minato finds that Kakashi is like the ocean; Minato can sink beneath and let Kakashi close over him huge and bottomless, where Minato can lose himself in those cool grey eyes and rest, even if only for a while. Something about Kakashi beckons to him and draws him inexorably in, to where Minato feels more than lust or base, impulsive need. It is more than the physical, more than just warmth and comfort or adrenaline. This is about Kakashi and the many ways that Minato cannot let go, and how Minato loves Kakashi, crazy as that seems.

But there are no words to say this- speech is medium that cannot do justice to the jumbled thoughts of Minato so he keeps silent and waits for Kakashi to understand. He does what he can and that is to show, so Minato presses deeply into Kakashi in rhythmic, gentle thrusts. He feels like the is trying to go deeper each time, to the heart of Kakashi, to penetrate the core and touch and unravel. Kakashi gives guttural, choked noises of assent so Minato goes all out and lets himself feel bare and defenseless, no hold barred, because he has never been one to withhold from the people he loves.

Minato is going to die, and certainly not in an honourable way if anyone finds him now. He thinks of morality and dying, and the book, all at once as he almost collapses in the searing heat of his sudden climax. Kakashi convulses around him immediately after and they lie in a tangle of limbs, Kakashi half supported by the desk, and Minato gratefully sprawled on the chair.

Kakashi's name is at the tip of his tongue; he savours the syllables and let them run over his lips. There are many things that Minato knows are immoral, and many more that are unethical. Minato has done deeds that are one or the other or both- but somehow he cannot bring himself to classify this thing that he has with Kakashi as either.

"Sensei," Kakashi interrupts to threaten, "I really will throw the book out if you continue to mope."

Minato eyes Kakashi warily. "Oh really?" he says, recovering some of his playfulness. "I was just thinking of adding a clause to it."

"Which would be?" Kakashi asks, with what Minato suspects is frank amusement.

Minato tries to keep his tone airy. "On sexual conduct, of course, I was thinking of adding a clause that makes it perfectly acceptable when a certain silver-haired genius is around."

Kakashi takes a moment to crawl into Minato's lap again, seemingly unaware or uncaring that he was completely naked and extraordinarily gorgeous. "But you know that's only a formality," Kakashi says, nibbling at Minato's ear.

Minato knows it is, and that what they are doing is not wrong, per se. Because what is wrong is relative to what is right, and that in itself is arbitrary when faced with the conundrum that is Kakashi. He smiles ruefully. "I know, but it does make me feel a little more... correct."

Kakashi dares to laugh, and Minato choses that moment to pounce and pin Kakashi to the desk, and show him exactly how moral and upright he feels. When Kakashi winds his arms round his neck Minato falls into Kakashi and his wide open, eyes; limpid irises the colour of storms and water-smooth pebbles. In there he ses the future and the vast open land of possibility, and it is Kakashi that he breathes, and Kakashi that makes him truly alive.

The End

240108


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